You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
