Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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