Apparently you make a good broom.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize