I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize