youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize