The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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