whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
