how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
