it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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