i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
