dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
it was like eating out sand paper
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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