I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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