508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
