I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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