glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize