Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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