Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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