So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We named our party play list daddy issues
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
