WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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