i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
