I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She bit a glass in half.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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