i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
