i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
