did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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