Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize