Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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