Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
