It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
