Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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