if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sext me about skeletons
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
