I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Text me some of your sweat
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
