I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
