did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize