The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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