I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i will never coherently bang her
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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