I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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