And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
