I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
