Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it's like heaven, but drunker
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
