apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize