Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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