Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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