He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
