Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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