everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
