i barfeds in our rink
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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