Its about making memories worth repressing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize