you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
