if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
