Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
did you just send me my own nude
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
