just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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