the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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