I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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