I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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