I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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