love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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