guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
